Busy, busy, always busy....

I was a little surprised to see that I haven't posted anything since July.

School started out really well, but we had to drop the trips to Tupelo for My Big Blue Planet classes. Too time consuming to spend 2 1/2 hours driving each trip. It was a hard decision, but school has been much more doable with a more flexible schedule.

In September, we went on a wonderful trip to Nauvoo. They've restored and improved so many things since Brent and I were there twelve years ago. We stayed in the Nauvoo Log Cabins and really LOVED it there. The highlight of the trip for everyone was the morning we went to the temple. We left the kids with a sister in the local ward and went through an endowment session. It was such a powerful thing to experience. I grew up hearing about the terrible trials the Saints in Nauvoo experienced, and always felt such sorrow about the destruction of the Temple. Being there in the rebuilt/rededicated Nauvoo temple to worship God in the same place our ancestors had worshipped in 1845-46 was more than a little overwhelming. After our session, we picked the kids up, ate lunch, dressed the kids up in nice clothes, and took them to the temple grounds. That was Jared's favorite part of the whole trip. He really felt the Spirit there and can't wait until he's old enough to enter the temple. If I get around to it, I'll post some pictures.

Jonathan has been working with a speech pathologist and has made some really good progress. He's more vocal, makes eye contact with people more readily, and will sit through a whole story book. He's still destruction on two feet (or roller blades, as the case may be), and nothing is safe from him. We put a bunch of "child-proof" plastic covers over several of the door knobs. When he couldn't get his hand around them to press the tabs that grip the knob and open the doors, he stuck his little index finger in the hole in front. The plastic thing made just enough pressure on his finger to give him a really good grip on the door knob. He can open them more quickly than we can. He's a wonderful little monster and I adore him. We have a lot of fun together, and one of the sounds I love most in the world is Jonathan's ready laugh.

Jared is doing okay in school. Just okay, because he has very little motivation to do his work. He seems to have inherited a degree of laziness from both of us. He'll work himself into a sweat over the things he likes doing, but NOTHING motivates him to do things he feels luke-warm about. Now I know what I put my parents and teachers through. He loves science, moves between loving and hating math, likes reading, avoids Greek and writing, gets grammar out of the way as fast as possible, and really enjoys our scripture study together. He takes a P.E. class at the YMCA on Tuesdays and Thursdays that he really enjoys. He's still obsessed with Legos and video games. He has a witty, sometimes sarcastic sense of humor. A few days ago Jonathan's favorite phonics show came on. One of the characters declared that he had the power to read. Jared said,

"Yeah, but all you do is change the stories and irritate the authors."

I laughed and gave him a thumbs up.

Brent is regulary the man of the hour at work. There's nothing he can't do, and a lot of people grab him for the tough problems. There are inner problems at work that irritate him, but hopefully those will be solved soon. They hired a new manager and a new supervisor this last year, and things have been "interesting" in a few ways. We'll see how it all works out. In the meantime, lots of prayer and regular scripture study always help to keep things in perspective. I love having Brent in Gospel Doctrine, too. His comments are always so humble, pertinent, real, and applicable. With him around who needs THREE wise men?

Rock just about earned an early trip to heaven last weekend. Yes, Brent was ready to kill him. For the last few months, Rock has been leaping onto the porch and crashing into our glass front door when he wants to come in, followed by the usual loud barking he's always done before now. We kept getting worried, knowing that one of these days he would break the glass. It finally happened on Saturday. He broke and shattered a five foot pane of glass out of the center of the door. He's lucky he didn't get seriously injured. He got a minor cut on his front right paw and decorated our bedroom carpet with festive red dots. It scared him to death. He was still shaking a day later. No fever and no loss of appetite. He's good as new now, but has a lot more respect for the front door. And he's really cuddly now, too. We had a hard time finding a glassier business open on Saturday, but someone came out and measured that afternoon. Brent covered the big gaping hole with cardboard. And wouldn't you know that Saturday was FREEZING!!!!!!!!!! The house felt like a meat locker. They couldn't get anyone out to fix it until Monday, so we just stayed in closed up rooms with space heaters and fires. I told Brent there was a positive side to all of this. We can either pay for the occassional damage our healthy, spry dog does to the house, or we could be paying a lot of vet bills for an unhealthy old dog. Rock will be ten in April! And he still runs and wrestles like a maniac. I love that old pupster. And I love my Brent for indulging my dog habit.

The Columbus Choral Society had it's debut concert in November. It was a big success, and after a break during December we're having auditions again on January 7th 2010. It was so good to be singing again. Our next program will likely be parts of several requiem masses pieced together. I love the idea, because I love so many of the requiems. I'm looking forward to seeing what Doug decides to do. In December, Doug conducted a Messiah sing-along. They've been doing it in Columbus for about ten years now, but haven't done much to build onto what they've done in the past. This was the second year I've sung in it, and the second year Doug has directed. They don't do the entire Messiah and stick to the simpler Christmas pieces. But I was very happy to see Doug introducing one of the more challenging pieces. After it was murdered, Doug invited people to learn it over the next year so we can include it in next year's performances. I hope he builds on like that every year, and I hope people actually take the initiative to learn the music. There's no reason a city of 25,000+ can't get a really good Messiah tradition going and sing the whole thing.

I think I'll stop typing now. I have presents to wrap.

Nerry Christmas to all, and to all a good night/morning!

Pre-School Flutters

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I've been a little worried abut our school schedule for the upcoming year. Is it too much? Too demanding? Do I have enough of the stuff each kid needs? Can I fit everything into a workable schedule? Will I have the stamina for this? Can I be the teacher I need to be? Worry, worry, stress, stress....

So tonight to rest from my worries, DS8 and I finished The Magician's Nephew together. What a refreshing read! I used to read the entire series once a week as a kid. Yes, that's a book a day. I was addicted. I remember the first time I read the series and found myself comparing the philosophy lessons to the gospel, and Aslan to Christ. I actually felt guilty about it, because no story and no character was as wonderful as the Gospel and my Savior, and finding so many similarities seemed sacrilegious. Imagine how relieved I was a few years later to discover that C. S. Lewis wrote the series intentionally as a gospel teaching tool.

As familiar as I became with the stories and some of the spiritual symbols and parallels, there was much of it that seemed new to my more mature heart and soul as we read the first book together. New because my experiences and challenges in life since I read these books in grade school have added new layers of understanding to beloved old familiar stories and doctrines.

It was one thing to read about the love, wisdom, mercy and power of the Savior (Aslan) as a child and understand to a certain extent how it might effect one's life. It's another to experience the reality of grace and then have all those beautiful memories come back as I read about it effecting others. While C. S. Lewis uses fictional characters, places, and events, the truths he teaches are timeless, eternal and real. I continue to find new facets and depths to these gospel gems all the time.

I couldn't help getting all teary-eyed as we read. A few times I had to stop and collect myself because I was too choked up to read aloud. Digory feeling the love of Aslan even though he had brought evil into Narnia, seeing the sorrow that Aslan had for Digory's dying mother, having the faith to accept his mission without knowing how he was going to accomplish it, receiving greater strength after agreeing to go, being assured there would always be a way to get through to his destination, having friends sent to aid and comfort him, facing and overcoming terrible temptation, and the loving mercy Aslan showed him by giving him the means to heal his mother after he passed his test. Those are just a few of the things that stuck out to me this time.

Reading this with new eyes is very much akin to reading the scriptures over and over again. The more I learn and the more strength I gain from reading them, the more my perspective changes, which ensures that reading them again will make it all new and empowering.

Again, and again, and again.

And then when you add the personal revelation and insight the Lord gives about how things apply to me RIGHT NOW, it's no wonder we're told to read them every day.

Right now I feel that I can move mountains. No more nervous flutters. I can do all things that are required of me, and have the discernment to know what isn't actually required.

I'll start with the mountain of curriculum to review,

and move on to the mountain of laundry,

followed by the mountain of....

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Good morrow, gentle folk. Don't worry, the Shakespeare ends here.

Congratulations are in store. As of today, DH and I have been married for twelve very happy years. We celebrated on Tuesday by eating sushi just like we did on our first date. Today we stayed home and are eating See's chocolates. Naturally, I spent time today reminiscing about how and when we met.

We met online at LDS Singles and emailed for four months. It was so much fun "talking" back and forth. We decided we'd better meet. So future DH jumped in his car and drove 1575 miles one way for a date.

All of my friends at work were worried. I lost count of how many times one of them would say, "Are you sure you want to meet him? What if he's a psycho Internet killer? I've heard about that happening a lot!" I reassured them that we were staying in public places and I didn't have a bad gut feeling.

As I was making dinner and remembering these things, I thought, "What if I had been the psycho killer?" Old music with new lyrics started running through my head. So without further adieu, here is my latest corruption of a familiar favorite.

ONCE UPON A (STALKER'S) DREAM,
from Sleeping Beauty

I know you, I'm fully aware of all you do.
I know you, I've stalked you for ages now.
I won't tell you how.
And I would suggest you wed me and take me to your nest.
But if you say no and marry some - GIRL,
I'll do what I must,
I don't mean "adjust",
No, I'll kill you.

If I - can't have - you then no one can.
Say you understand.
I love you forever eternally, now take my hand
Or I'll cut yours off and bury it underneath a trough.
But if I know you, I know what you'll do.
You'll recognize fate before it's too late
And marry me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not that crazy. No, really, I'm not!
The marriage thing was DH's idea!

Huge Triumph

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It finally happened.

After months and months of fretting, hoping, wondering how in the world to communicate with our unsocial three-year-old, a monumental thing occurred tonight.

He peed in the toilet!

Okay, mostly in the toilet. But I'm not about to be bothered by a few stray ml. on the seat.

HE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you want the background story on why this is such a momentous thing, read on. If not, fine. Go back to your "interesting" life.

DS3 is very bright and independent. He has never asked for help with anything he could do on his own. That includes climbing bookshelves nine feet high to get an interesting knick-knack, unlocking every child-proofed cupboard to feed himself and scatter food all over every room in the house, stripping naked whenever and wherever the urge strikes him, "cleaning" the house with 5 entire bottles of Lysol in three days, and disposing of dirty diapers in the worst possible places.

He never tells me what he needs, because in his mind, there's absolutely no need to ask for anything. Unfortunately, he hardly ever talks at all. He's been counting to 20 forward and backward for two years. He can count to 100 by tens. He can recognize and name all the letters in the alphabet. He can read some simple words. He sings songs from memory, recites entire episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Bunnytown, and loves classical music.

But he won't talk to communicate.
About anything.
Including the need to go potty.

He was assessed by a speech pathologist a few months ago. They found that his social skills and speech skills fall between 1-2 years old. His math and reading skills fall between 5-7 years, with one or two 8 years thrown in for good measure.

Okay, now for the really obvious revelation: there's some suspicion that he's mildly autistic. I think he's just too smart and stubborn to need or want to talk.

Whatever, he peed in the toilet today. I'm a super happy mom.

Another gift

I know I've mentioned how much I love music.

Well, I've now been to two meetings regarding the organization of a new chorus. It's starting to look really good! I will be the audition coordinator for the auditions being held in August for the CCS. Interested parties will call me for an appointment. I will schedule three people every fifteen minutes. They will rotate between three adjudicators and be tested briefly on range, pitch, aurel skills, sight reading, ability to learn a piece quickly, ability to hold a part in a group, etc.

Everyone on the "board" (for lack of a better word) is really great. One lady is a real go-getter with great organizational and leadership skills. She knows what needs to be done and doesn't let anyone forget about it! I like her A LOT. I will refer to her as A.K. She is the concrete thinker that our abstract director needs to keep everything lined up. We haven't had a printed agenda for either of the meetings we've had, and it was funny how the topics and info jumped and circled around. A.K. went home and typed up minutes for the meeting without being asked, putting the needed discussion points in bold print. I really appreciate her efforts. I'm going to see what everyone thinks of having a printed agenda for the next meeting.

My next big question is WHAT ARE WE SINGING???????? The conductor has a lot of possible music in mind, but won't announce any of it until he hears what turns up at the auditions. I'm chomping at the bit waiting to see. He said motets are always a good thing to start with. Whose? Brahms, Bach, Mozart, Vaughan Williams? The suspense may just kill me.

Okay, no it won't.

But it might.

My church friend is writing a cover letter to the newspaper to announce/introduce/advertise the group. It will go in the paper in July. We will also have flyers, ads, and announcements all over town and at all of the churches a little closer to audition time. She's also helping A.K. get corporate sponsers to help cover initial expenses.

The director and the other adjudicators' expectations for audition turn-out aren't very high. They said they were thinking about possibly 30 members in the choir. I hope they're happily surprised and we can do some really BIG pieces with a BIG choir. Then again, maybe he just wants to do small chamber pieces with a really skilled group. I'd be sooper-dooper happy with that, too.

We're planning an all day retreat to practice music and get to know one another in September. We'll have sectionals in the morning, lunch, and then a full group rehearsal in the afternoon. I can't wait! Our first performance is tentatively set for November 15, 2009.

I'm so grateful for this opportunity! Singing wonderful music with a choir is a real necessity for me. I will always be indebted to my friend from church who kept asking around and making contact with the right people. She's so good at social networking. If it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't have been invited to be part of this planning process, and likely wouldn't have heard about the group after it had been organized. I never thought I'd say this, but there may actually be a downside to not getting the overly liberal newspapers with all the city ads and announcements.

Then again, that's what neat friends with better social skills than I possess are for.

Family Home Evening

Tonight we had a rather short Family Home Evening. I took a nap waaaaaay too late and didn't have anything prepared. So we got out the Book of Mormon comic book version of scriptures for children and looked at a story.

Jared and I have been reading from the Book of Mormon and the New Testament for morning devotional. So for FHE, I decided to just continue where we had left off last week.

We all read the condensed story of Jacob and Sherem. After we had read it, I started asking questions to see how well it was absorbed. Toward the end of the questions, I said,

"What sign did Sherem get when he asked for one?"

Jared said, "A gravestone!"

We all had a good laugh.

Buh-bye.

The Hand of God In My Life

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Henry B. Eyering, one of my favorite apostles, gave a talk about keeping a journal to make note of the hand of God in our lives. What a great idea to turn a journal into something truly spiritual, rather than just a record of everyday events. This is what my blog will be today.

This morning I had a hard time getting out the door to church. I had hung the keys up where they belonged last night, but they had fallen into a box of hangers. After searching fruitlessly for awhile, I started praying that one of us would find them. DH found them just a minute after that. We were a little late, but we were in time to take the sacrament and feel the reverence of that beautiful ordinance.

DS-8 is growing up and maturing so quickly. He's been actively looking for sweet things to do for me. He offers me drinks, makes his own sandwiches, turns off all the lights, obeys without balking, etc. I know I'm supposed to be the example for him, but the last few days his attitude and demeanor have set the stage for me. Because of his efforts, I've been able to be more patient and remember that every moment is a teaching moment. We've had more smiles, greater peace, and deeper love. This is an answer to prayer that has come in a very unexpected way. He's teaching me how to be a better parent by being as kind and courteous as I should always be with others.

DS-3 is a bundle of trouble and joy. He's so curious, and his laugh is SOOOO deep and loud. He's starting to talk a little more. Recently, he started making more effort to say his own prayers, rather than mumbling incoherently after I say a phrase to him. He loves prayer time. His faith is so pure; I love feeling the Spirit when he talks to his Heavenly Father. He is teaching me again to value small moments to tune in with my Father and just appreciate His company. And he teaches me everyday how great it is to love and be loved.

Gospel Doctrine class was interesting today. As usual, there were things that weren't part of the lesson plan that just came out of my mouth. I love sharing the things the Spirit whispers while we're discussing the Gospel. There's such a beautiful feeling of oneness when everyone is learning their own personal lessons from the Lord all at the same time.

DH got an A in his class!!!!!!!!!!!!! His last class on technical writing was very difficult because the professor was nit-picking everyone on EVERYTHING. He got 97%. It's his lowest score ever for an A. He put so much work into it under pretty demanding work, home, and professor circumstances. The last weekend of the class when he and his team were supposed to be working on their final project, we planned to attend the temple with the ward. This meant five hours round trip in the car, plus the time to go through the temple session. When I reminded him of the trip Friday afternoon, he said glumly that he didn't think he'd be able to go with all the work that needed to be done on the project. I was so disappointed. I could hardly stand the thought of going without him. I prayed with all my heart that he would be able to finish what he needed to, that he would remember how very important temple blessings are in everyday life, and that he would know how much I loved being there with him. That night, he finished much earlier than he thought he would. When he said he could go to the temple with me, I was so excited I almost cried.

The Primary Presidency came to entertain the kids in the Stake Center while the parents went to the temple. The Spirit was wonderful. DH and the boys were able to sleep on the drive to the temple, so no one needed a nap while we were there. The weather was clear so that I had no problem driving. On the way home, it was raining pretty hard. DH drove, and with thin traffic we had no problems. He was able to finish his class final project, even though no one on his team contributed or finished what they were supposed to. He really had to scramble. But I sincerely believe that because he consecrated his time to go to the temple with me, he was given greater clarity of thought and objectivity.

We always love how "in love" we are when we've had any spiritual experience. Makes me want to go to the temple every day! Instead, we'll just have to work on turning our home into a temple. Not that we have any slag in our relationship. We just always feel like newlyweds after a temple date, an ordinance, a blessing, etc. Especially me. I get all ga-ga and silly. The home is second only to the temple in sacredness.

No wonder we're so in love....

Too much music

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Some might think I have too much music.

I say there's just too much music to hear and have.

My husband got me a great iPod for my last birthday. It has 120 GB of memory. I've already filled 61 GB with music. Most of it is classical. I don't mean classic rock or instrumental music. I mean classical. Like Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Medelssohn, Brahms, Chopin, Debussy, Ravel, Poulenc, Rachmaninov, Vaughan Williams, Holst, etc. Any other definition that comes up in conversation makes me smile and wince just a little.

With all that music at my fingertips, I've discovered a new source of enjoyment connected with an almost obsessive-compulsive need: compiling playlists. I'll be listening to a great piece of music and wish the next several pieces were in the same "family" of harmony or orchestration. Why don't I just turn off the shuffle or use the Genius button? BECAUSE I'M DRIVING, DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and I don't want to limit the list to a mere twenty-five tracks. Not when I can easily make a list where nothing repeats for two days. So I go home and create a playlist. Brahms is so especially loved that he got his own list right off the bat.

The list I made tonight is relaxing movements from Romantic/Impressionist/Post Romantic chamber and symphonic music. I called it the RIP Chamber. It was 2.9 days long. That just didn't seem right, so I found a few more things to make it a nice even 3 days. But I overshot and ended up with 3.1 days.

No worries, I'm not completely OCD.

New Chorus In Town

I love to sing. I mean, LOVE to sing. I'd do it all day if I could.

I've been singing since I was old enough to make sounds. I used to hum the Lassie theme song (on pitch) before I could talk. Even as a very small child, I gravitated toward music with rich harmony. I knew there were different notes being played and/or sung, and it fascinated me. When I was in second grade, my sister learned the harmony for a Primary song she was singing in the Salt Lake Tabernacle for a Conference broadcast. She taught it to me. I WAS HOOKED!!!!!!!!!! Now I understood that harmony had a structure, and I was trying to pick out or invent harmony for everything I heard.

Was I born to be an alto? No, I'm a first soprano. But I absolutely love being part of groups that use wonderful harmony, and I like to sing harmony whenever possible. In the car to CDs, in congregational hymns, to t.v. themes, anywhere music is found I will sing harmony. I love singing second soprano, alto, tenor an octave higher than written, and even baritone up an octave or two. I strongly prefer singing in a group surrounded by a chord of voices, over singing a solo anytime.

With that in mind, here's a sad fact: I haven't been able to sing in a professional or semi-professional group for seven very long years. It's been a painful time of artistic stagnation. Can you hear the wailing violins in the background? Seriously, think Schindler's List soundtrack. Not to mention, I can't sing nearly as well as I used to after seven years of non-singing and frequent laryngitus.

I attended a Messiah sing-along last year with a friend from church and told her how much I needed to be doing things like this again. She's a very social person who knows everyone. She started asking around and found that the new music director at the Methodist Church who had conducted the Messiah thing wanted to start a chorus in our area. HOORAY!!!!!!!!!

We were invited to a brainstorming session last week to discuss how to go about getting it off the ground. Two of the music professors from the local University were there (all will remain anonymous for personal security reasons), the guy who will be directing the chorus, a choir director from the public school system, a new Columbus resident who has experience in community choruses, and my friend and I.

We tossed ideas around for several hours about auditions, expectations, advertising, sponsers, etc. We'll be having auditions two nights in August. The group will be called CCS. That's right, I'm not telling you the group's name on this blog with no visitors. The new resident will be the PR person. I will most likely be the audition coordinator and was asked to come up with an audition form. My friend volunteered to call the people who are rejected and nicely tell them, "...not this year".

I've already finished two drafts of the audition information form. I can't wait to sing again!

Now if I could just get over this cold and get my voice back again....

Forgot my own blog

The world turns too fast, and I forgot about my own blog. That's okay, no one else reads it either!

We're finishing up a year of homeschooling and are a little behind. No sweat, it's easy to catch up on the stuff we missed. We are considering joining a group called Classical Conversations, but I have a few concerns. One of the reasons I love homeschooling so much is the flexibility, and the fact that I get to choose the curriculum. If I join this group, I lose a little flexibility in my curriculum choices. Their foreign language program has a LOT of Latin and one year of Spanish. I agree that studying Latin is very important and beneficial, and I bought a Latin elementary curriculum to use before I heard about this group. But Greek and German are very important, too. Latin gives you the basis of all the Romantic languages. Greek is also a big part of that basis. German is the basis of many other western languages, and has had a big influence on English. The argument for all Latin and no Greek or German is that Latin makes up more than 50% of English and 60% of Spanish. Hooray. What about the other 40-50%? In true classical education, the students study Latin and three or four other languages. The more languages you learn, the easier it is to learn any other language. You also have a much greater understanding of other languages, whether you become fluent in them or not. If we do end up joining this group, I guess I could be a cruel taskmaster and make the kids study Greek and German in addition to the Latin and Spanish they'll be working on for the Classical Conversations classes. I dunno....

During the last year, I made the decision to leave a dog rescue group that I was part of since 2004. I need to focus more on the hubby and kiddoes, who need me more than the pups needing homes. It wasn't as hard to leave as I thought it would be. The structure of the group has changed a lot, and I really don't miss the drama. I'll always care about the dogs and will endeavor to educate people about responsible dog ownership. I wish them all the best success in their endeavors. I just have to focus my time and energy elsewhere for the next several years.

DH is taking classes online. Instead of ten weeks of classes that require 5/7 days of participation, he's taking five week classes that require the same amount of work in half the time, and the classes run seven days a week. He's definitely more motivated than I could ever be. He has a break for a week, and then he gets to spend a lot of time doing busy work for a computer class. Like he'll learn anything in that class. He's been doing this stuff very successfully since he was twelve. But the certificate matters to some people, so it's good to have. It's not like he's uneducated. He just changed his major five or six times in college. Then he joined the Navy, made it through nuclear power school, but can't transfer the "classified" classes that would give him a PhD in several disciplines. So it's online classes to get a "degree" in software engineering. He's actually said in the past that programming isn't a career, it's a job skill. I love my brilliant man.

A sad thing that happened this year is that DH's sis disappeared about seven months ago. DH was able to take a week off work and go to her memorial service recently. We're pretty sure she fell off a cliff into the ocean on a nature walk. She is very, very missed. I only met her once a few months after Brent and I were married, but we emailed each other quite a bit and got close. She is a wonderful person. I say "is" because she didn't stop existing. She just IS in a new place doing new things. I can't refer to people who have passed on in past tense. That just seems wrong to me. Brent's sis has great faith, great love, and such a fun personality. I have put all of her emails into a special folder of their own. Everytime I see her name on the folder I feel this sharp pang and I want to talk to her. I hope that doesn't annoy her. I hope she's happy and knows how very loved she is. Someday I'll feel more peace about it. Right now I just wish I'd gotten out to visit her, hug her, and have those great spiritual conversations face-to-face. Love you, Beanie.

Right now I have a bad cold and am every shade of ornery. Yes, I am a veritable rainbow of angst. Poor DS-8 got yelled at far too much today, as did DS-3. While we were reviewing math, DS-8 kept making really odd, silly mistakes. I kept getting impatient with him. I finally told him to go check his blood sugar, and if he wasn't low, he was going to be in trouble. His blood sugar was 61. I was in such a bad mood I didn't even feel ashamed of my irritation level. I told him to eat some sugar and sit down for twenty minutes. He didn't want to sit down and rest, so I yelled at him again. DS-3 figured out how to get past a kid-proof door knob and a dead bolt today. He kept getting outside with no supervision. While DH was working on making the door impassible, I tried getting DS-3 into a room full of toys to play with. He kept doing the no bones drop to the floor move. The last time he did it he jerked as hard as he could and my soda spilled all over the floor. So he got yelled at, too. After he managed to get past DH and myself one more time, I threw my hands in the air and said, "I'm tired of being a mom. I'm done." I just shouldn't do anything when I'm sick. My poor kids are going to have complexes.

Maybe I'll blog again this year. Maybe not. Who knows? We'll see.